I think I've got this teenager thing figured out...

I think I've got this teenager thing figured out.... they have somehow crossed a wire in their brains, and for some reason cannot fathom that I was once a teenager. They somehow do not understand that these attempts to sneak out of the house, these "tricks" they think they can play, the shit they pull to try to get a rise outta me... when I was a teenager, I thought I was Queen Fucking Awesome too, I was positive that everything I did, my parents were oblivious to... I mean they had to be, "we" made that shit up, and of course, my parents were never teenagers! See, I'm sure that my parents came up with new ways to torment their parents... as did I. And yes, these little know-it-alls, they have come up with a few new things too....

Here's the bad part.... some of this shit works! And honestly, what pisses me off more than whatever they are doing at the time, is that it gets to me! I would love nothing more than to duct tape them to something. But NOOOO!!! I can't do that.

Which brings my next point.... What the fuck is this shit that you can't spank your kids? This is what is wrong with the new generation. They are not afraid of anything.... this is because they've never needed to be afraid. We can't even so much as smack their hand and say "no no" anymore. I'm actually glad my parents had me when they did.... it was still acceptable to swat your child on the ass if he or she was being a fucking brat.

Now, these little fuckers say things like "what are you gonna do? you can't hit me" and they do whatever the fuck they want. I'm not saying I think it's a good idea to like seriously beat your kid... but damn, a swat on the ass, a smack on the hand, it's not going to fucking hurt them. But it will show who is boss.

Kids are ALLOWED to go from ....

to this....

And that's the problem with "our future leaders". They all think they are the boss. And when they are made to do something they don't want to do, they just sit there and fucking pout about it.

And then we all wonder how we get things like....
  

 and this....

and of course....................................






And then it all turns into this.

Commercials

That commercial for “Flirty Girl” fitness…. The lady says “I’ve lost up to 33 pounds” …..

Huh? What do you mean by “up to”???? Did you lose 33 pounds then go eat a fucking ice cream cake for breakfast? Or are you reading from a script and no one notices when you fuck up what you are supposed to say?

The commercial for Hip-hop Abs… and Rockin Body…..

It’s the same guy, same price, and pretty much the same action. One says “lose up to 3 pants sizes and 3 inches off your waist in the first 5 days” the other says “lose up to 5 inches off your waist in the first 3 days” WHAT THE FUCK? I’m sure if this works I’ll look great for my funeral. 5 fucking inches in 3 days?? What the hell kind of shit do they want me to do? And really 3 pants sizes in in 5 days? Come on.

The commercial for Mid-West Title Loans…. The lady says “there was a bridge that I had to gap” ….

Shouldn’t this be “a gap I had to bridge”? How does no one notice this???

The commercial for the tablet… I can’t remember which one it is.

Says you can set a timer on it so your kids won’t be able to use it after a certain amount of time…. I mean this is cool…. But then it goes on to say that this will tell your child time is up, so you don’t have to. Oh that’s great. I don’t have to pay attention to what my kid is doing, because now, technology will do it for me. Why don’t I just get a robot babysitter while I’m at it, then I’d NEVER have to pay attention to my kid. Fucking lazy people. USE YOUR VOICE AND TELL YOUR KID TIMES UP!

These commercials are pissing me off.

Blueberry Muffins..... and all that.

So, like two months ago, we (Tim & I) were at the grocery store, and he saw a mix for blueberry muffins. He just HAD to have blueberry muffins.....  Three days ago, I was sitting at home, alone, and as I was searching for something yummy to eat, I see the muffin mix that Tim just had to have.... I made them. Fuck it right!? He obviously didn't want them as bad as he thought, and I wasn't going to eat them all.... Anyways, I made them, ate one and put the rest in the fridge. That night, I told him and the boys I had made blueberry muffins.... and there was one for each of them. Today.... they are all still in the fridge..................... ugh.

I don't know why this bothers me as much as it does.... but OMGOSH! it pisses me off!

Maybe its the hormones.

In general.....

I find that I say the same things over and over again.... people are fucking ridiculous. People make me sick to my stomach. PEOPLE ARE FUCKING FAKE! People are fucking dumb as shit.

So, I'm going to put out general statements, if you think they apply to you, well take it, or sign off my blog, I don't fucking care. If not, move on.

Don't act like you are my buddy then turn around and throw  me under the bus. Not only is this rude as fuck, but it makes you look like a fucking cunt bubble bitch to anyone who sees it.

Don't pretend you like me. If you don't fucking like someone, be real. I'm the type of person that will help out pretty much anyone in need, if I have the means to do so, and when I do help someone I don't care for, it don't make me fake, it makes me fucking human. I'm honest about my feelings.

If you are a professional.... fucking act like it. It's ok to get a little out of control sometimes, but if you want ANYONE to take you seriously, don't act like you are 15. It's fucking pathetic. 

Don't hang up on me. If you fucking have the time to dial my number, you have the time to say bye. If you don't, then fuck you, don't call me.

Don't EVER try to tell me I have to do something. This just pisses me off. Makes me want to look at you and say "bitch you aint the boss of me" like a potty mouth 5 year old.

You do not need 1/4 bottle of that body spray. Take a fucking shower once in a while. Gross.

Crack a fucking window if you smoke in my truck. Yes, I'm a smoker, but I smoke enough on my own, I do not need your second hand fucking poison, I will take care of my own demise.

Don't ask me if I have a bathroom. "nope we piss in the backyard like dogs"

Use your fucking brain.

Have respect for other people, especially you elders. We learn this shit as young children. If your parents didn't tell you to respect people, then go disrespect them, and just stay there.

Don't try to be something you're not. If you want to be something, become it. This usually involves some kind of work. Unless you want to be a fucking cracked out hooker, you are gonna have to make an effort.  

Alright guys, this is all you...

Guys, this is for YOU... 

 I realize that men and women do NOT think alike. At all.

I'm sure you've all realized this as well. So I think someone needs to tell ya'll what's cute, hot, sexy.. whatever and what is just down right CREEPY!

Winking & shooting your finger at us - totally creepy - not acceptable.

A cute smile and nod is ok.  Hungry eyes and a glaring smile - CREEPY!  We don't see things the way you do - it's not hot it's creepy - don't do it!

We don't want or need to hear about your awesome car. We probably don't care much, if at all.

For first meeting conversations, we care that you have a job, have a license & have a car to drive yourself where you need to be, that you don't live at home with your parents, and that you're straight,

We don't care about how many chicks you've banged.  Save that for the guys.  We really don't want to know.  Not only do we NOT want to hear about it - but we think it's gross & creepy. 

Don't EVER tell us you're superficial & will trade us in when we're 40 for 2 - 20 year olds!
You may be joking - but our brain immediately fast forwards to that time & we see ourselves years older, 30 lbs heavier with kids, a mortgage, bills to pay and then the dumb bastard gets a hair up his ass and runs off with his hot 20 something(who probably isn't that hot).

 

Even if I'm totally into you, this will send me the other fucking direction.

Also, don't start planning our future together the night we meet. This is fucking weird. You don't know me well enough for all that talk. Seriously. NO!

Boyish charm - very cute.  Needing to ask your mommy for approval of every decision you make as a grown man CREEPY.  Yes, we want you to love your mommy.  I know my son better love me forever, but does the name Norman Bates mean anything to you?

Honesty is always the best policy.  We'd rather be slapped with brutal honesty than lead along like puppies until we finally figure the shit out then we are back to where we started.


 Please fee free to pass this information on to the single men you may know who may desperately need it!

To my ladies, you're welcome!  If anyone's going to put it out there - you should have known it would be me!

People are fucking stupid.

What the fuck is wrong with people?

I'm talking about the ones who THRIVE on DRAMA! Ones who create bull-shit lies just to start drama, the ones who try to create rifts in other people lives...

WHY?!?!?! I don't understand.

Is it that you are bored, is there not enough excitement in your own life? Are you just hateful? Are you jealous? I mean come on, what's the fucking deal here?

People fucking make me sick. I mean seriously, I feel physically ill when I hear or see some of this shit.

Drama drama fucking drama.

Fuck you.

May 19, 2013. CD 22

May 19, 2013. Cycle Day 22

Still too early to test..... Only 5 days past ovulation. Ah.... the two week wait...

Well I have a doc. Appointment on Thursday, so they might be able to tell me then.... but that's only what.... 9 dpo, so who knows. I may still have to wait.

Well, I'm feeling very crampy and bloated. Like bad gas. But that's about it. I'm hopeful, but not getting my hopes up too much....


We'll see in a week or so.

Fingers Crossed xoxox