fucking fatal attraction

Why do people hold onto shit that is so obviously OVER? I mean, really, it makes a person, man or woman, look very pathetic. If something don't fucking work, then it don't fucking work. Period. Let go, and give not only the other person, but yourself too, a chance to find something that will work. I realize that you can still care about a person after it's over, but really, if you are trying to force it to work when it's just wrong, all you are doing is making yourself and the other person miserable. And if you really give a fuck about that persons happiness, then why in the hell would you try to make things hard on them? I guess maybe I just don't understand. I mean when shits over, it's just plain fucking over.

When a couple has been together for anything less than like a year, and they have no ties, such as children together, when the relationshit is just that, shit, wouldn't it be better to just walk away? I mean, if the two people can be friends, well great. But, again, if either of the people are going to fucking idiots, or jealous fucking crazy people, I think I would rather just walk away, clean and simple.

I realize it's hard to be friends with someone you have romantic feelings for, so what I'm saying is, if you can't be a big girl, or big boy, and deal with the fact that EVERYONE has a right to try to find someone that they CAN be happy with, then just walk away. If you get pissy and throw a fucking tantrum when you see the shit, you probably shouldn't be within  view. And if you are going to try to make the other person jealous, in hopes that they will "see what they are missing" You are as nutty as fucking squirrel shit. Seriously, that VERY RARELY works.

Ex's are ex's for a fucking reason. Grow up, and deal with your fucking fatal attraction at home.

Thanks for reading. ;)

Oh fuck, the CAPS fight!!!

Why do people think CAPSLOCK means they are "yelling" at another person? I mean to the point that it should hurt my feelings if you type in all CAPS....

FUCK YOU!!!

Now, did that hurt your feelings anymore than....

fuck you!!!

I doubt it. And if it did, I'm sorry, but you seriously should talk to someone about this. Using your "yelling" font does not make me think you are gonna knock on my door and junk punch me. I mean, if I'm gonna bitch slap a mother fucker, I'm going to use my hand and their face... not by typing fucking capital letters on the Internet. Fucking ridiculous.

Day #1

Well I wasn't going to post this yet, since I don't really know who all reads my nonsense... But I'm going to anyways. I'm ready to start my journey, and let anyone who wants to know about it along with me :)


Today marks the beginning of my new life. I'm going to try to have a baby. Yes, I said it, and yes you read that right. I'm going to try to have a baby. It's not something that will come easy for me, because of the PCOS... for those that don't know, I was diagnosed with Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome when I was like 17, and have struggled with the painful and annoying symptoms ever since. The worst symptom of all is not physical the pain though, for me anyways. It the infertility that comes along with it. My desire to be a mother is very strong, and it tears me up inside that I haven't been able to conceive thus far.

Remember, I'm 28 now... I'm not getting any younger. I wish. I've decided to do this now because I don't want to keep putting it off for the perfect time, and find out it's just too late. That would devastate me. I'm not willing to wait any longer. It may take a few years, and I don't want to have a new baby when I'm 40. Plus, I'm getting pretty close to the age of risky pregnancy anyways, not that I don't already have enough obstacles.

Anyways, I've decided to share this with whoever might read because, honestly, I just don't want to hold it in anymore. And, again, I don't know who reads this stuff, so maybe my journey to become a mother could help someone else who struggles.

I'm happy. I'm scared. But, this is just day one. Time to change some of my lifestyle around and get my body baby ready!!

:) :)

Love what you got!

Over the past few months I've been thinking a lot about what I want, what I need, where I want/need my life to go... I've carefully thought about which road I should go down, and who I wish to bring along on my journey. My emotions have given me a lot to think about, I fucking loathe emotions sometimes. But the heart truly does want what it wants. Although, sometimes we have to just put that aside. Not because we want to, or because it's better that way, but because we know that realistically, it's just not going to happen.

I'd love to live in my dream land, where everything is perfect, and I'm always happy. Sadly, that's not going to happen. My life is not perfect, far from it. And I doubt that your world is perfect either. The trick is, finding your perfection in what you have. And of course, you have what you make for yourself. There have been a ton of speed bumps in my road, and I'm sure there will be more.

I've come to realize that what I wish isn't going to happen. At least not at this time. Will it ever happen? Hell I don't know. I'm a believer of everything happens for a reason, same goes for what doesn't happen. And I think I am beginning to understand why certain things in my life have happened, and haven't happened.

I suppose my advice is simple, love what you have, make your perfection. If something is in your way, overcome whatever it is. Shit will probably never be easy, so work hard for what you want, and for what you need. It will only make us stronger. I think this applies to just about any situation.

"Hey baby show me your tits"

Why is it that when people get drunk, they say things to people they wouldn't normally say? "hey baby, can I see your tits" is not the way to start off good with someone. No, dickhead, you may not. I really don't understand. Is there some kind of man-thought that says that women with big tits are gonna show 'em just because they want to see? And really, what's the big deal? Oh, I forgot, men, no matter their age, are all fucking horny little bastards. And apparently, if shown even just a little side boob, they freak out and blow a load. It's nasty really. And sad. I don't fucking get the "O~face" if I see a penis..... actually I think that is gross. I'd rather not look at them.

I suppose when I see a man that I am highly attracted to it might get me going a bit, but I'm not all like "hey hot stuff, show me your cock" I think that would be just a bit on the trashy side. Do women just have like uber self control? Or is it just me? No, I don't hear other women, non whores, talk like that. Drunk or not.

I'm like one of the most vulgar women I know... does that even make sense? But anyways, I don't do that shit. It's trashy.

So, next time you are all drunk and see me out and about, please, don't ask me to show you my tits. Chances are, I'm going to hit you.

Moving On...

I've made the desision to move to the next level with my life. And I'm not going to wait on anyone else's approval, I'm not waiting on anyone for anything anymore. I can't say I was really waiting for approval, it was more that I wanted things to be perfect.

But things are never going to be perfect. I know better than that. Waiting on perfection, I'll never get there. So, I'm moving forward.

I think it's going to be hard, all of it, but that's life. And, this is something I want more than anything, so I will try my best, I will do whatever it takes, if it can happen, I will make it happen. It's not going to come easy, I know that. But, no matter the obsticles that are put in my way, I will push on. And I wont give up.

Not much detail as to what I'm talking about here, I know. There will be. When I'm fully ready to tell my story. Trust me, there is more to come.

;)

Mushy squishy Monday...

Life is bliss and misery mixed. Perhaps we wouldn't know one without the other. In life, we will get our hearts broken, we will feel grief and loss. We will also become confident and clear minded. We will feel profound joy and love and laughter, we will feel awe, respect, humility.... I think this is how we know we are alive and human. And, then we want to give others the chance to feel the same.

Loving another person is not about anything material, or physical, it's not about sex, or money, or fame. Love is about knowing a person, trusting them, and connecting with them on levels that are unseen to strangers. Love has no time frame, no restraints. Love is kind and beautiful. Pure. A silvery gold flame that burns inside each one of us. We just sometimes aren't brave enough to let it shine. Love itself, does not hurt, lie, or deceive. Love is not earthbound.

Love is everything good. A spiritual and joyous connection that never fades........